My Memoir for AP Language [doyle]

My full name is Tori Danielle Brannon, but everyone, and I mean everyone, calls me Danni. I've always introduced myself as "Danni," and if you call me something else i probably won't know who you're referring to. I've been told a lot of different stories about my name and where it comes from but the story that my grandmother always tells me is the one that I like best. Apparently, when I was born my mother and father had decided that they wanted to name me Danielle, but they had trouble giving me a middle name. So they asked for the opinion from the first nurse that walked into the hospital room where I was born, and she told them she loved the name "Tori Danielle," and that is what my mother put on my birth certificate that day.
I live in a house with my grandparents in Moss Point, Mississippi. I grew up here, and I've never really had the chance to visit many places outside of Mississippi. I love my house and the people I live with, at least on a good day. Like most teenagers, my bedroom is my favorite room in my house. The walls in my bedroom are a pale blue color, livened up by all the paintings and photographs I have on them. My room is my sanctuary, and I spend more time in it than any other room in my house. I also love my backyard, and I go outside a lot just to have some quiet time to myself, or to play with my dog. The one thing I really love about my backyard is the tire swing that has been there for almost 30 years now, and still holds up just as strong as it did when it was first hung on the tree. Since the time I was old enough to fit in the tire swing, I've always loved swinging in it and I still go out there all the time when I want to be alone. All of my best and worst memories will remain on that tire swing, in my house, and in my hometown.
When I was only 5 years old, I experienced something that changed my life dramatically -- the death of my mother. It's hard for me to recall my exact thoughts and feelings from that time because back then my mind was so different from what it is now. My mother died in the hospital, and I seldom ask why, because I've never been given a completely honest answer. I can remember exactly how it felt when my grandfather told me "Mama is in heaven, with Daddy, now." He put it to me simply, and I completely understood what it meant. For some strange reason, the one thing thing that sticks out to me was the thought running through my head as i was driving away from the hospital with my mother's close friend, Kim. I remember crying, so hard that i compared myself to Alice from Alice in Wonderland, in the scene where she cries until she floods an entire room. I guess that's just how young children think, but suddenly my fear of drowning surpassed any sadness or fear I had of my mother's death.
Shortly after the death of my mother my grandparents decided to get custody of me and have me live with them in their home. I have lived with them ever since, and I feel lucky to have them to take care of me now. It wasn't a hard adjustment for me, besides not having my mother there. I already had a room set up at the house, a crayola crayon rainbow theme bedroom, from when they would babysit me while my mother worked. They treated me like I was their own daughter, and it has always felt that way for me.
My first few years in elementary school were not very interesting at all, up until I was in the 5th grade. My 5th grade year was the year I was accepted into L.I.F.T., a gifted program, which stood for "Leaders of Inteligent and Futuristic Thinkers." Just looking back on the years I spent in L.I.F.T always puts a smile on my face. I met my best friends my 5th grade year, and to this day all of us are still like family. In L.I.F.T., we would do puzzles, brainteasers, logic problems, and a lot of random things just for fun. There was never a boring moment in L.I.F.T. and I would give anything to go back and relive those moments. I loved my teacher, Mrs. Murray, as if she were my own grandmother, and I loved all my fellow students, as well. One of my favorite things about L.I.F.T was the fact that we were always encouraged to think outside of the box, and to always be creative. L.I.F.T taught me a lot of life lessons, and it helped to build my confidence because it was the only place that I ever truly felt like I was accepted during my entire 6 years of elementary school.
I started Junior High in August of 2004, and although nothing exciting occured during my 7th grade year, my 8th grade year caused drastic changes that still affect me to this day. My 8th grade year was filled with bittersweet memories, laughter, and depression all at once. It was the year that i consider both the best and the worst year of my life. I struggled with depression, and I developed harmful habits that were hard to quit. I lost a lot of respect for myself that year, and I never really understood why. I forgot what it was like to care, and I ended up hurting myself along with the others who cared about me. But in the midst of all of the chaos, there was one person who I know I could have never made it without, and her name is Heather Leigh Cuevas. Heather was there for me no matter what I had going on, no matter what kind of trouble I was getting into. She helped me get through one of the hardest times of my life, and to this day she still hasn't let me down. I confided in her about everything, and I hate that I caused her so much trouble but I'm thankful that regardless of what i did, she never left me. She always found a way to cheer me up, and we both have a similar sense of humor that most people couldn't even start to understand. We've known each other since we were in diapers, but since that year we have been closer than ever, and she has shown me the true meaning of a best friend.
In 9th grade not only was I excited about starting high school, but one of the best things happened to me that year. On September 17, 2006 I started dating Justin Tyler Williams. He was a senior and I was a freshman, and it took forever for us to start dating because neither of us had the courage to tell each other how we each felt. I took the first step by giving him my phone number, and after about a week of texting and playing the "20 questions" game, he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I tried to contain my excitement, but i was obviously freaking out because i was so happy. I was afraid it wouldn't last long though, because I was scared that we didn't know each other well enough. I'm glad I gave it a shot though, because having Justin has made these past two years so much better. I fell in love with his intelligence, his goofy personality, his passionate heart, and his artistic side, one that he's usually too shy to show to anyone but me. I never saw myself being this serious about someone until I met him. He truly makes me feel whole again.
The summer of 2007 was one of my busiest summers ever. I spent most of the first half with my boyfriend, going to the movies, swimming at his house, and hanging out at my house. One of the biggest changes for me was having my sister get married. Not only did I have a new brother-in-law, but as soon as they got married, my sister and her husband bought a house -- right next door to me! My sister is absolutely my best friend in the entire world, and there has never been a fight between us. I love her more than anything in the world, and having her move in next door to me made everything a thousand time more exciting for me that year. I ended up staying at her house more than I stayed at my own, whether it be from passing out on her floor, staying up to watch movies and hang out until we were giddy from sleep deprivation, or because I didn't want to go back to my house and have to face my grandparents after I had been drinking too much. What happended at her house, stayed at her house, and I'll never forget all the crazy things we did together, along with our close friends. My sister has a unique, humorous personality that will put you in a good mood no matter what kind of day you're having, and having her there with me at all times made me the happiest I had been for a while.
In the fall of 2007 I started my 10th grade year of high school, which was my best school year so far. The one thing that changed high school for me altogether was joining Drama Club. I met a lot of new people when I joined, and now they're like my family. I'm glad I met my drama club teacher, Mr. Doyle, because his unique personality and ideas changed my perspective on different aspects of life in general. Mr. Doyle, along with other members of my Drama Club family, helped me to see a completely different side of myself that I never knew was there. I became more confident because of them, and I gained a willingness to learn more and better myself as much as possible. Getting the chance to perform in front of people and leaving with the confidence I gained from that experience has driven me to make myself more successful not only in theatre, but in my entire education as a whole. Drama club was always my favorite part of the week, and I'm 100 percent committed to it. I know that the friends I've made in Drama club will be my friends for life, and I love being a part of such a talented group. Drama club is fun, it makes me happy, and I feel like it's where I belong in school.
The most recent, and most devastating event that has happened to me came on June 23, 2008, which was the death of my brother-in-law, Eric. He was married to my sister for only a year when he died. His death was unlike any other person's death that I have had to deal with in the past. With my mother, she was in the hospital, so people tend to expect the worst. With Eric, his death was sudden and tragic, and it left everyone stunned, with questions that no one could ever have the answer to.
When he was married to my sister, he wasn't just my brother-in-law -- he was my brother, my best friend. I loved him, and I regret not giving myself the chance to tell him that before it was too late. We had so much in common, like our passion for animals, nature, computers, technology, and video games. He was happy, caring, softspoken, and I sometimes considered him a dork, but that's what made him Eric. The memory of his death is still very vivid to me, a memory that is burned into my mind and will never go away.
It was always hard to read Eric's emotions. He was almsot always smiling, even when he was upset. The day eric died, my grandpa was taking me and Heather home from summer school when he stopped at the drug store to pick something up. The ironic thing is that Heather and I were reading over her report for english that she had written about suicide, when I heard the car door open on my side. I turned and my grandpa staring at me, and I could tell right away that something was wrong. He looked at me and said "something terrible has happened..." and I immediately assumed something had happened to my grandma. But he continued "...it's not your grandma... Eric," he said. Then he paused, as if I knew what he was about to say. "Eric hung himself... In the shed." My heart dropped. Have you ever been hit so hard in the chest that you couldn't breathe, and it felt as if at any minute, your lungs were going to cave in? Well, picture that, only about ten times worse. I looked over at Heather in the seat next to me, and she was frozen, with her hand covering her mouth and a single tear rolling down her cheek. My voice didn't work at that point, like in a bad dream where you want to scream but you struggle to make a sound and nothing comes out. There wasn't much i could say anyway, and all i could do was cry.
What hurt more than anything was going home and seeing my sister, and having to see her break down the way she did. My sister is the strongest person I know, and I've never seen her upset like she was that day. After Eric died, so many things started changing for me. My sister moved out of her house next door and sold it, and even though I tried to spend as much time with her as could, it still wasn't the same. We became distant for a little while, but eventually we were inseparable again, we just tried to refrain from talking about Eric. I started having anxiety problems and my sister's personality completely changed for a while. It was hard, but I knew we had to stick together throughout the whole situation. I wanted to comfort my sister the best way I could, but she usually prefers to work out her problems on her own, much like I do. Things started looking up as school started, and I know that eventually people move on. I know that Eric's death will always be a traumatizing memory for me, but I like to think things will get better as time passes.
I'm looking forward the things further down the road, and I have many goals that I have set for myself in order to be successful and satisfied. My number one goal is to not let anything take away from my happiness, no matter what. I want to be able to make myself happy, because I know that I can't always rely on others to keep me satisfied. As far as my education goes, i want to finish high school and go to college. I haven't decided on what college I like best, but it's a tie between Auburn and MSU, because I know that they have great veterinary programs. My major career goal is to become a veterinarian. It's not something that I would like to do, but something I have to do, because i know what career i want to have and i won't settle for anything less.
I have a lot of personal goals, also. I really hope that I can overcome all the hardships that I'm dealing with and the ones that I know i'll have to deal with in the future. I want to be able to make myself a more optimistic person, like i used to be, because lately I've become less of the person that I once was. I want to be a good friend and a reliable person. I only hope that I can acheive all of my goals, and do what's best for myself. I want to have everything in my life back in order, so that I can feel at ease again.